UK Hip Hop and Rap Forum - MC's,DJ's and all Welcome. / Ryhmes and Verses / Themed Verses / Tha Beautiful Struggle
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| Posted: 12 Jul 2007 00:12 | ||
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Posts: 7 Join Date: May 2007 |
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Wassup amigo's.
Life Is A Beautiful Struggle I feel like I was meant for better things/ But in this ghetto of sin I know I gotta shine like a Gucci ring/ I feel like I held a lot of love for people in the past/ But now, memories of innocence have faded under the odour of blazed grass/ I don't know why we treat others like a carpet/ Trod on and ruined, shed a tear before their soul departed/ Man, life is tough even for suburbanites/ Worst that could come to us middle class white folk is a knife fight/ But why then do I feel so close to breaking and as the emotions gain speed/ I feel like a fiend who is going to hell for all my past deeds/ My Grand-dad told me that "Life is a beautiful struggle", trust this ain't a joke/ A social worker making people smile amongst the midst of heroin and coke/ I know this life is tough son, but you gotta go live for real/ Change the way peoples feels and the cycle of this wheel/ Whereby we live to die as memories burn out in strangers' eyes/ A funeral, a wreath of flowers, all golden and rose perfect red/ Torments runnin' through my head, 'cause love doesn't extend to the dead/ And now all I can hope for is to make this life easier for others/ Mothers and vindicated brothers, livin' in despair under the covers/ People ain't gonna change their nature, that much is clear/ But if we don't try, we've already lost, so now we have nothing to fear/ Life is like a bullet that was fired outta a glock/ I've gotta make sure I hit the target coz you can't turn back the clock/ I got love for y'all, whether you high or when ya fall/ I got love for peeps on the streets and peeps in the 'urbs and malls/ Love is love and hate is hate, I detest the latter because it makes blood splatter/ Whether ya black, Asian or Caucasian, love for one another is all that matters/ Coz this life is Tha Beautiful Struggle Peace Out Amigo's |
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| Posted: 14 Jul 2007 19:15 | ||
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Posts: 17 Join Date: Jul 2007 |
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Good message and all that but challenge yourself and don't be so mono-morphemic. It's a little bit too simplistic, more like a poem than a rap. I got nothing against poetry I write it also, but there is a distinct difference. I don't really wanna prescribe to you what's right or wrong but maybe next time try to capture an abstract concept in your mind, something vivid... then incinerate it with your words...and spit out the fire! |
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| Posted: 25 Jul 2007 15:03 | ||
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Posts: 31 Join Date: Jan 2007 |
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| WTF ?????? | ||
| Posted: 21 Oct 2007 14:35 | ||
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Posts: 1 Join Date: Oct 2007 |
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| pretty deep, but kweli already did it. | ||
| Posted: 08 Apr 2008 21:41 | ||
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Posts: 2 Join Date: Apr 2008 |
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| this was written great. structure was on point, vocab was nice. One of my favorite writtens i've read on this site so far. | ||
| Posted: 13 Apr 2008 18:24 | ||
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Posts: 12 Join Date: Apr 2008 |
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U tried writing a chorus to it? It's a lot of text to write without breakin it up into smaller chunks, even if its only 2. Maybe put in some extra lines, 'cos it will sound awkward if u just chop in in 2 bang in the middle.
I now it flows sort of well, but just think about it. |
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